i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
