it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
