yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
