So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wish I only lived at night.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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