she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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