Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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