Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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