everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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