I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
