sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
