i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
