Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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