chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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