It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
