I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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