I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
