We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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