He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
