Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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