Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'd cum for enchiladas.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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