If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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