I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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