i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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