we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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