Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
