what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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