Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
