Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I need a burrito and a hug.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
