I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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