im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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