We're like a lot better than the average bears
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
