Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
