I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
