Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Someone came in the potted fern
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
