Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
