You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
