Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
