i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
They have beer where we have blood.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
