According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
