3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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