Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
