I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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