yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
