My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
