It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
