Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
