I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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