even my farts smell like vagina
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i've created a new STD.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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