i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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