I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
