just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
