the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
