what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
