fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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