that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
