Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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