You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize