If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
